World Domination

Well, I've been dropping enough hints that I had projects on the go. This is the first one.

I take little credit for the idea. Four friends got together and decided that the internet provided the perfect opportunity to publish excellent fiction. They are incredibly committed to supporting and promoting creative excellence in the written word. I asked to join the party because it's such a fantastic opportunity and I'm a sucker for a challenge.

Thus, Unthank Books was conceived. The ethos behind the company is to take the risks publishers used to take on unusual novels: writers who were finding their feet; writers who had something interesting to say. We will publish novels that are prepared to take risks; challenge their readers; novels that have something interesting to say and interesting ways to say it.

The inaugural novel is TOUCHING THE STARFISH by Ashley Stokes.

It's an interesting vision of the creative writing world. Having lived through that world, it made me laugh and cringe, usually at the same time. It is writing at its most inventive. If you're up for something different (and no, that's not me being polite), follow the link. We are a print on demand publisher, so the book you order is for you and you alone.

I hope you enjoy.

PS: If you like what you see, can you please pass it on?

I know, I know, it's a shameless plug.

PPS. The Facebook Page, be a fan. Go on, you know you want to!

Priorities

As my plans for World Domination near fruition, I find myself faced with a dilema: what on earth am I going to wear?

I hit Norwich yesterday to answer that very question. I had in the back of my mind a dress I'd seen in the window of Karen Millen. I found some fantastic dresses. They were Oh My God expensive, but hey, the event in February (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) is when I step out and there's no point looking like something the cat threw up. My normal dress code is: jeans, comfy jumper and walking boots. I like being comfortable and I'm not willing to totter around on high heels on a daily basis, just to go into town to pick up some essentials. So, the opportunity to dress up in girls clothes is always welcome. And if I'm getting a new dress, obviously I need new shoes, new bag and accessories. My gran used to say, do it properly or don't do it at all.

Back to Karen Millen. So there were these fabulous dresses, which as far as I were concerned, were perfect. Unfortunately, Karen's idea of a size 10 and mine are two different things. The dress I wanted I could not breathe in properly and it stretched in places, I'd rather it didn't. In all honesty, a diet of bread and water would sort that out by the time the event rolls around. However, there's a part of me that is very resistant. I'm buggered if I'm going to starve myself just to wear the dress once. Either it's perfect now, or I will have to walk away.

Humpf.

Sometimes being a grown up sucks. So, I'm going once again into the breach this morning to look for the dress that says: smart, stunning, not a woman to be triffled with. Wish me luck. Expect more whinging when I start looking for the shoe and bag combo.

Revenge of the Idiot Box

I once again assume the position on my sofa and indulge in my nightly diet of murder and mayhem. I like murder and mayhem. It's fun to watch. Tortured cops/feds/law-enforcement officers struggling to make right the wrongs of the dubious.

As always the ad breaks are an opportunity for a crafty one, or another cuppa. But mostly, I sit there, brain decomposing until the fun starts again. However, there are occasions where ads are so hideous I'm driven to projectile vomiting.

The Halifax
Halifax office monkeys in a breakfast show radio format, high 5 themselves to the soundtrack to Spandau Ballet's Gold, an acknowledged cheesey tune even at the height of their success. The Halifax does have a reputation to uphold; after all they gave us Howard and then an animated Howard after he became too expensive (one assumes they didn't kill him and stash him under the patio slabs to save paying him). Given the high bar they previously set themselves, they have outdone themselves on pure annoyance factors.

I am not a morning person. I loathe morning radio. This immediately got my back up. And coupled with the self-congratulatory high 5s, smug grins and cheesey music, yes I do want to commit murder. And no, I'm not going to open a current account with them. Just because of that ad.

Tena Lady
I didn't realise female incontinence was such a problem. None of my female friends have ever complained of suffering from it and we over-share everything. Plus, none of them ever smells of anything other than posh perfume. Perhaps they've been using Tena Lady on the sly?

I'm not bothered about her striking eyes or her sassy salsa moves. Should the time ever come when I need said products, I can't see myself skiing, or on a swing, or painting some random bloke's toenails.

PS. I don't have a happy period either.

New Vice

This is a 6 string baritone dulcimer played by Bradley Fish.

No, he's not my new vice, but the dulcimer is.

Neil Young Harvest Moon (live)

I'm having a laid back time and this just hits the spot, even though it's the wrong time of year.

Family of the Heart

It's safe. I've stopped sniffing now. When I could see, I swept my kitchen. Bits of scrambled egg, bread crumbs, masticated peas and a dessicated sausage rolled into my dust pan. Evidence of the joyous chaos that has been in Palais de Roses over the past 9 days. I changed bedding, put loads of laundry on, collected the bits that were forgotten: a dinosaur, a pig, a glove and a watch. I had a bath, indulged in some smellies and put on comfy clothes. The house is quiet. The Cat is still in hiding. It'll take her awhile to realise we're back to normality, whatever that means.

There are 3 human beings who currently walk this Earth, who I can say changed my life utterly, beyond recognition, positive transformative catalysts. Aitch is one of those people. Through her I firstly found my spiritual path; I found a family who welcomed me into their arms and refused to let go, no matter what an arse I was being; I found music and dancing; and laughter, lots of laughter. I found the place I belong.

Boy and I moved out of the house to the Great Ursus and his lovely, so she and young family could run riot here. As a plan, it was perfect. They had a brilliant base from which they could catch up with everyone. They had space and privacy. I ended up staying over a couple of nights, sleeping on my couch. I loved seeing the toys scattered around, hearing the boys excited chatter just because it was morning and every day is still an adventure. It didn't make sense to some people, but it worked.

Now I sit here in the silence and I miss them so.

FYI

Boy and I will be elsewhere for the next 2 weeks. Gee's fabulous daughter Aitch and family are rocking up in about an hour and a half and will be running riot over Palais de Roses. Therefore, normal blogging service is likely to be patchy.

Don't have too much fun while I'm gone.

Parody

I'm starting as I mean to go on.

Enjoy!